Skinny people just don’t get it

nyr10601121937widec.jpgI went in to get measured for a tux recently as I have a friend’s wedding coming up. The pants are usually adjustable and I inquired about how the sizes break down. I mentioned that I was trying to eat better and exercise so I hoped to have lost a bit of weight by the wedding.

The proprietor of the shop, God bless him, was very trim and offered me some advice. “See what I do is put pillows on top of my feet in bed. You know, on top of the sheets. Then when the alarm goes off, I do a few sets of crunches. The pillows piled up help keep my feet down and then bam! I’ve worked my abs and I’m good for the day.”

Yeeaah. See, sit ups alone don’t really make your pants fit any better. Skinny people with high metabolisms don’t really have a clue. Just don’t eat after 7pm or eat nothing but pasta or mix up some peanut butter and earth worms they’ll say. It doesn’t matter what they do, THEY STAY SKINNY.

Now, that doesn’t mean that they are healthy or physically fit. There are plenty of skinny people in terrible health. But they think if you just do this one thing, you’ll be skinny like them in no time because, come on, it works for them, right? Look at them, they’re skinny, they must know what they’re talking about, right?

Hey skinny people, unless you have ever been fat, don’t offer me advice on how to lose weight and I won’t mash your Twinkie (yummy yummy Twinkie) in your face (and then eat it).

It ain’t nothing for me to put on 30 or 40 pounds in 6 months. Fortunately, if I work hard I can lose it in half that time. I’m the classic yo-yo-er and right now my yo-yo is up. Way up. And I can’t seem to find the motivation to make it go down.

Anyway, the purpose of this post was to tell skinny people to shut it and eat a sammich.

10 thoughts on “Skinny people just don’t get it

  1. As a perpetual meso/endomorph I find skinny people and their advice to be totally useless as well. In reality it comes down to caloric intake. If you eat less calories than it takes to maintain your current body weight… you lose weight. Simple as that. If you eat the amount of calories necessary to maintain a target body weight with a certain amount of daily activity… You’ll soon find yourself at the target body weight.

  2. well dont down the skinny people either just because they havnt been fat doest mean they cant give you some tips. They just might not be fat because they relize what it does to your body!!!!

  3. Hey lee. You are exactly who I’m talking to. Ya know, these people:

    “Put the fork down, fat kid.”

    [sarcasm] Oh thank you kind sir! I never realized that by putting the twinkie down, as you say, it would, in fact, cause my ample waist line to shrink magically as if I had a vacuum attached to my anus and it sucked all the fat right out. Oh glorious day, I see the light now. If I could only eat less, I too shall be skinny.[/sarcasm]

    Don’t you think if I could put the twinkie down I wouldn’t have this problem? You miss the point entirely, but I’m not surprised. You’re most likely a skinny person.

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