Monthly Archives: July 2005

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SCT goes to the movies.

From time-to-time I’ve mentioned the musical revue that I’m in this summer, mainly as my excuse as to why I haven’t been updating as much as I would like. We’ve been really busy with rehearsals and this week is an exception. We’ve been super-duper busy. The show opens Thursday night. Yikes! But I feel it is coming together and it will be a knock-out show.

The theme is music from the movies. We’re taking favorites from popular movies throughout the last several decades and giving them that special I-don’t-know-what. James Bond, Little Shop of Horrors, Disney favorites and Fame just to name a few. The set is done, the lights are up and the musicians are ready. Come relax and enjoy an evening of toe-tappin’, tear-jerkin’, soulful singin’.

You need to be there. The best part is, the tickets are FREE! That’s right, you won’t have to pay a penny for a ticket. All we ask is for a minimum of $25 donation to the theater. What? You think that was sneaky? It is a fund raiser after all, you cheap skate. So come support your local community theater. And you won’t find any better entertainment around.

Here’s the schedule:

  • Thursday, July 28th
  • Friday, July 29th
  • Saturday, July 30th
  • Thursday, August 4th
  • Friday, August 5th
  • Saturday, August 6th

The show starts at 7:30pm each night. There will be a champagne and dessert reception following each show.

Surely, out of these six evenings you can find one to come check out the show. I don’t care how far you have to drive or fly; you can see me strut my stuff on Footloose, sing the Elvis ballad “Love Me Tender” and many other exciting tunes. And if you think I’m talented, you ain’t seen nothing yet; I’m the least talented performer in the show! Now that’s not to say that I’m not talented (of course, see Awesome Lessons) but that we have an amazing, gifted cast that will knock your socks off.

So drop what you are doing and call the box office for your reservations: 662-323-6855

I’m in a band!

Actually I’m not but I could be with my new rock star hairdo. Check it.

For the first time in my life, I have straight(ish) hair. I’ve been thinking about doing this all summer and, well, I did it. This is not so much a Look At Me The Attention Whore post as a This Is An Important Life Event post.

The guy who does hair for the theater shows has a place in Columbus and he’s fabulous. Go to Jamie’s Salon and ask for Jansen (my bad if I misspelled that). Anyway, I talked to him a few nights ago at rehearsal and he said Come on in, I can totally do that.

So one of the other guys from the show, Lyle, was going to get his hair Jansenized too. I caught a ride with him and it was boys’ day at the salon.

It’s really different as I’ve never seen my hair like this before so it’s going to take some getting used to. I mean, I’ve only had insanely curly hair my whole life. Though the more I look at it, the more I like it.

And, of course, I have before and after pics. The “before” is from December. Since then, I’ve lost a bunch of hair and a bunch of weight. For all following pictures, clickify to biggify. (I didn’t really wear my hair like this out in public)


And a couple of quick, one-handed “after” snaps. (These aren’t very good, maybe I’ll to get some better ones up)


Oh boy! Summer hair fun. Do other people get an unexplainable urge to mess with their hair during the summer? The past couple of summers I’ve sprayed A Touch of Sun in it to lighten it up. Well I topped that one this year.

Who knows what it’ll look like in a couple of days. I ain’t got no hair doing skillz. I usually wet it and put anti-frizz crap in it. It takes all of 13.7 seconds. I think this will take more work. And I can’t get it wet for three days. I actually have a shower cap to wear in the shower. Teehee.

Podcasting on IMKH

Survey says: Stinks

I technically wasn’t going to podcast. It’s really more of an audioblog thing I had in mind. I tried, really, I did. I recorded a couple different archive posts and I’m just not happy with them. I recorded that dang shark post about 5 different times.

After a couple of evening’s experimentation, here are my thoughts on my audioblogging skills:

  • Apparently things sound much funnier in my head than when spoken aloud. Turns out I have a completely different style of speaking in my head than I do out of my mouth and it doesn’t translate very well
  • I sound like I’m from Mississippi. There could be a reason for that
  • The built-in mic on my Powerbook isn’t the best for quality audio recording. This is a cop out reason

I’m not totally giving up, I might do some audioblogging in the future, but I ain’t real keen on reading old posts.

BTW, As you know, I have l33t photoshop skillz. And now you know that I also have mad picture-taking skillz cause I totally took that picture.

Insert Title Here

Ok I’m just gonna write some stuff and go with it so put on your seat belt. It’s 5 minutes with Mr. KaryHead.

How the heck did I get that name? Mr. KaryHead. What does it even mean? Well I’ll tell you.

Once very long ago I was helping with Vacation Bible School at church. Don’t know what VBS is? Sorry, I’m moving on. So I was helping with the chillin’s recreation time. Me and some friends. We had fun with the kiddies. They chased us, we chased them, we slid down the slide, they slid down the slide, we bounced rubber balls off of their heads, they most certainly did not bounce balls off our heads. They were too short for that sort of thing.

One day I did something one of them didn’t like. Maybe I pushed him down. Nah, that doesn’t seem right, I wasn’t mean. Maybe I didn’t let him win Duck Duck Goose. Yeah. Cause I will never play the patsy with kids when it comes to Duck Duck Goose. I play fo’ keeps, yo.

So anyway, this kid, who apparently couldn’t run around a circle of his seated peers as fast as I could, says something like You ol’ Mr. KaryHead.

You know how kids will insult you by adding ‘head’ to the word? You ol’ poophead, for example. Or You ain’t nuthin’ but a farthead. You see the theme here? Well that’s the kind of insults kids use. At least they did in my day, who knows what kind of awful words they would use today. You might be callin me Mr. LimpDickHead if it were kids today. Jeez. Inside Mr. LimpDickHead just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?

For some reason the slow-running-Goose couldn’t come up with a good bodily function word to add ‘head’ to in his frustration. So he used my name + head. My friends thought it was sooo funny.

I’ve been known as Mr. KaryHead ever since. Sometimes just KaryHead if we’re on familiar terms.

Good night.

Viva StarkVegas

I need your help.

I bought this belt buckle and as you can see, it is sweet. I’m thinking of hacking it to say StarkVegas instead of Las Vegas. That would be pretty swell. And then I could sell them for a million dollars. Well I wouldn’t really do that, I’d only make one and then everybody would be envious of my awesome custom belt buckle. Really, they would. They told me so.

Anyway. The thing is made out of metal. Maybe I could fill in the Las with some sort of putty or spackle and then paint it metallic silver to cover it up. Then I could use a stencil or something and paint on the Stark.

I don’t know, I’m probably way over my head on this. Anybody with a crafty mindset care to offer a suggestion?

Notice of (possible) Impending Podcast

All the cool kids are doing it.

I’m thinking for the first few, I’m going to take some of the Comedy Gold that has already been posted and record it. I think it’s probably much funnier in my head than your head anyway. Maybe hearing sorta kinda how it sounds in my head will make it even better.

I don’t know, we’ll see.

And I’m not promising anything.

I sure wish I had a decent microphone. If I get halfway serious about podcasts, I’ll have to get a better one.

Any requests from the archive?

BTW, I heard from one viewer that the bird call video made him lose the yogurt he was eating.

I’m very proud.

By the way, cinnamon is soooo gangsta

I don’t know what that means. Ask Rahul. (pic “borrowed” from Mallory)

I went to Roxie’s last night to meet up with some of the Runnin’ With Scissors Posse (RWSP). RWS is the university improv/sketch comedy group. I plan to audition for the group this fall.

I’ve only been able to make it to one show in the past, but I enjoyed it and it made me laugh-out-loud several times. I think the best part was during one of the games, the old Slip N Slide came up. One of the members, a girl mind you, dove head-first, sliding on her chest on the concrete floor, doing a complete Pete Rose. It was awesome and I wanted to stand up and applaud.

As is obvious, it’s a talented, funny group of performers. And I’m excited at the chance to be part of it.

So I went up there to hang out a little while and ask questions about the group. I met Houston, Laura, Mallory, Laura and Chuck. Houston is the director, the first Laura is a self-professed groupie, Mallory is the graphic artist and photographer, the second Laura is a member, er, actor, er, player and Chuck is the filmographer.

Lots of my questions were answered and a good time was had. I got the impression that they were afraid of scaring me off due to the on-going antics and other alcohol-related-whatnot. But no, I didn’t feel my life was threatened at any time during the evening. An’ I been ’round crazier. I think I probably scared them off with that bird call video (post below this one). “Yeah, we don’t need any of that crap.”

Anyway, it seems like they have a good time and they were very welcoming to an outsider.

So thanks. I’m looking forward to the opportunity of making teh funnay with you alls.

Behold: Totally Awesome Sound EFX

Surely you’ve seen at least one Police Academy movie. If so, then no doubt you remember Cadet Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow). This was the dude that made the really cool sound efx. He could mimic any sound with his mouth/voice/etc. And because of him, I was inspired to develop this skill.

Yes, for the first time ever, I will demonstrate what has taken me years of practice to learn. You may think it’s easy to make the sound of a door creaking open but to do it so that the public can not tell the difference between the real thing and the sound effect is a highly sought after skill that only a few are fortunate enough to master.

I am one of those few. It has taken me since childhood to perfect some of these effects. I hope you will appreciate the supreme skill involved in producing these sounds.

I think you will be amazed. Enjoy.

(Ed. note: You may need to turn your volume way up to hear worth anything. Or way down.)

I’ll start with a simple one. A train.


Next is a ketchup bottle.

Golly gee

Oh man, you know you hate the squeaky chalk.

Everyone’s favorite: the tugboat foghorn.

Simply stunning

Let’s not forget the magnificent horse.


The spine-tingling roar of a concert crowd.

Ground shaking

Here’s a string of supertastic sounds:

Big rig slamming on brakes

A trumpeting elephant

The air slowly let out of a balloon

Ho-ly crap

How about a bear?


At this point, I know you’re saying There’s no way anybody could make sounds that realistic and amazing. I know, I understand your incredulousness but check it out, I have proof . The last one is a video of me doing some bird calls. 2.7MB, Quicktime format.

Close your eyes and it’s like you’re sitting in the woods surrounded by our singing winged friends, eh? I hope you heard your favorite bird in that medley.

Well there you have it. I’m looking into getting some work doing voice sound efx. I’ve got a call in with Garrison Keillor of Prairie Home Companion. They could totally use my skills over there.