Monthly Archives: December 2005

Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = Crazy Delicious

Since I posted about the new SNL digital shorts, there’s been a lot o’ internet buzz about Lazy Sunday aka Baker’s Dozen. I was updating my previous post as I found stuff but then I decided to just make a new one.

The video Lazy Sunday

and free download on iTunes

and fun icons

and t-shirts

What are Red Vines?

And I found the first digital short: Lettuce. See? I do love you.

Turns out the shorts were made by the lonely island. I haven’t looked at much of the site yet but I imagine it’s got some good stuff on there. These guys got hired by SNL. I guess if you do funny stuff on the internet it can lead somewhere.

Leaving for NYC tomorrow. I’ll catch y’all next year.

pwn3d!!11

Finally, someone around my parent’s house has wireless internet. Unsecured wireless internet. DHCP didn’t seem to work but tcpdump came to the rescue and I manually assigned an address to my wireless interface and here I am.

My dad had dialup a while back but canceled it ’cause he has internet access at work and didn’t use it enough at home to justify the expense (I guess). My mom is, uh, scared of computers we’ll say.

I got nothing exciting to say right now ‘cept I’m full of good food and I’m doing some shopping tomorrow.

Hattiesburg was hit pretty hard by Katrina. Loooots of wind damage. In addition, loooots of people who lost their homes on the coast or in New Orleans have relocated here. Hattiesburg had been growing fast in the last several years and the infrastructure really hadn’t kept up with the growth. Well, it totally sucks now. It’s beyond suck. The traffic is ridiculous.

SNL Digital Shorts

Holy crap. This is the funniest thing on TV right now. Ok, probably not THE funniest thing on TV but I laugh. Oh yes, I laugh. SNL can be iffy week to week, no doubt, but when I see a black screen with the words “An SNL Digital Short” I get ready to wet myself.

I’ve seen two different ones so far. The Lettuce one and the Chronic of Narnia Rap.

How much do I love you? Lots. I googled it.

Narnia Rap

and

iTunes

and fun icons

Didn’t find the Lettuce one, sorry, guess I don’t love you that much.

A bit from some stand up material i’m working on

Check it out, I have the worst eyesight ever. In second grade I complained about not being able to see the chalkboard in school. So I tell my mom and she’s all “just have the teacher move you closer.” Of course I’m not going to go to the teacher myself and ask this.

It’s too scary.

What if after i ask her “Ummm Ms. really-old-bitter-woman-who-thought-her-life-would-be-something-but-certainly-not -baby-sitting-brats-all-day-long-for-30-years, I, uh, can’t really see the board. Could I maybe move closer?”

And then from behind her huge desk that I really couldn’t see over so I just assumed that she was up there, would stand up, a smoldering fire would be in her eyes. Her old grey hair would stand on end, then the background behind her would fall away into a blackness of the abyss while she would zoom in closer, ya know, how they do in dramatic moments in movies? The backgroud goes away and the person comes closer to the screen? It always freaks me out cause you know something crazy is about to happen.

So the teacher’s head with her old grey hair standing straight out and the fire in her eyes are inches away from me and she screams, nay, howls “Dare you approach the realm of the dark evil witch banshee of the 2nd grade? You may not move to another desk. It has been assigned to you for the entire year!” And her breath reaches me and it melts my face right off. This is what would happen in my head if i asked her to move to another desk.

So no, I wasn’t really keen on asking the teacher myself. Anyway turns out my distance from the board wasn’t the problem as my mom found out. Apparently the teacher notices my troubles on her own. The tasks where you copy some stupid paragraph about colonial america or the cotton gin off the board and turn it in for a grade. I guess that’s the 2nd grade version of English class or maybe Writing. I was failing that but I was acing a little subject i call Gibberish. “What is that? – quytzx? – what do i know, i’m in 2nd grade.”

So the teacher mentioned to my mom one day that she thought i had trouble seeing the board. My mom’s like “well can you move him closer?” The teachers like “Well he’s on the second row already.” My mom was a bit stunned and she realized that she had to take me to the eye doctor and get my peepers checked out.

Ok, so we’re sitting in the eye doctor’s exam room. [insert bit about how he always puts my knees uncomfortably in his crotch] He turns out the lights and projects the first eye chart about 15 ft away onto the back of a door. Now the first eye chart is usually just a formality, actually the first few are, run through them until the doctor can get to the smaller ones with multiple letters that all look the same, D’s and P’s, Q’s and O’s.

Well he pops up the first one that is like you know a 2 foot square capital E. It’s ginormous and I’m all squinting and “uh uh uh. hmmmm well there are several possibilities…” My mom turns and looks at the eye chart and her mouth falls open. “Kary, you can’t see that?” Her blowing off of my little cries of “I can’t see the board at school” hit her full force and she realizes just how bad my eyes are. And how bad of a mother she is. No, really she felt terrible about the whole thing.

Well I got me some new eyeglasses. embarking upon a journey of enduring years of name calling like “four-eyes” and other witty names. When I first put them on, I was amazed. Astounded I tell you at the whole new world that had opened to me. I could finally tell the difference between the men’s and women’s restroom symbols in restaurants. No more embarrassing walk ins to the ladies room and me giving some mumbled story of how i couldn’t see which one was which. it didn’t work then and it doesn’t work now. and the looks i get from the surprised women are different too. before it was “awww are you looking for your mommy” or “are you lost little boy?” now it’s “Aaahhhhh get out of here you creep” or something about calling the police. Jeezz people are soo touchy these days.

New job

Yeah, I gotta new job soon. I’m getting into grave robbing. I hear anatomical schools pay good money for corpses cause they’re not getting enough from just public executions at the gallows.

Ok ok ok. The truth is that I’m playing Scrubbs the grave robber in Starkville Community Theatre’s production of Terror By Gaslight. I’m totally excited about it, it’ll be my first regular season show at the community theatre. You’ve no doubt heard all about the musical revue I was a part of over the summer. The cast of the play has 12 people and the director is my talented friend, Lyle Tate, that I met during the musical revue. It’s gonna be scrumtrelescent. You’ll have to come see it or I will stab you in the neck.

Christmas is just around the corner, friends. Have you done all your shopping yet? Of course, I haven’t started. Maybe next week. I prefer to run around in a panic, fighting the crowds at the last minute. That always gets me in a jolly Christmas cheer.

Everyone keep an eye on the Times Square webcam on the 29th, 30th and Jan 2nd. You might see me on there waving to you.

Hey, Will Cooper, I have an awesome idea for a comedy act for next semester. Think Tenacious D (without the profanity) + Weird Al + Monty Python + Bing Crosby and Bob Hope = Comedy Gold Hilarity.

Next Week on IMKH…I don’t know.

Semester’s Over

It’s been fun. I’ve met new and exciting people. Now it’s over…until next semester anyway. I’m going to take one if not two acting classes next semester.

This semester I’ve gone from not know anything about acting and sucking at it to hanging onto the tip of the iceberg and still sucking at it. I made some steps of progress but I still have a lot to learn and experience until I feel like I’m not a stiff reading lines on stage; that I actually become the character. A work in progress but a FUN work in progress.

Meanwhile,

I’m trying to plan a New Year’s trip to NYC.

I bought a new camera. So I need to learn how to use it properly.

M’s about done with her semester. She teaches three classes of Spanish and takes four landscape architecture graduate classes. She’s what we call insane. But she held up very well this semester, professionally, academically and more importantly emotionally and physically. I’m proud of her.

I’m still on the fat train.

Audition for the new SCT show next week. Meeting about another show tomorrow night.

After three plus weeks of fighting a “cold” I got tired of the coughing and snot and went to the doctor. I’m the proud daddy of one healthy upper respiratory infection. Yay for free antibiotic samples! No beer for me for a week or so.

I’m ready for Scrubs to start coming back on NBC.

The Bourne Identity is quite a good book. Way better than the movie.

I took a random poll and found that other people get “stuff” under their thumbnails. Here’s the kicker, it seems to be the off-hand thumb. I’m right handed and I get crap under my left thumbnail. Other right handed people I talked to also get crap under their left thumbnail but the one left handed person I talked to gets crap under his right thumbnail. Weird.

I need to balance my checkbook.

My TiVo needs a bigger harddrive.

I once spent an entire Saturday building a cat tree. The cats rarely use it. Bastards.

My in-dash CD changer broke. Yay for ipods.

My grandfather has a malignant growth in one of his kidneys. He had some kind of new procedure where they freeze the growth done today, I think. I hope he’s ok.

I’m looking forward to King Kong and Chronicles of Narnia. I saw Rent twice. Maybe a third time this weekend.

“The opposite of war isn’t peace. It’s creation.”

Today on Fashion Focus with Mr. KaryHead

I am not pushing the fashion envelope. Really, I’m not. Don’t really want to. But sometimes I see something that I like, either in a store or in media and it turns out to be the Next Popular Thing. It’s happened and more than once. What really sucks is when I see something that I like in a magazine or on TV and there’s nowhere around here to buy it and I can’t find it on the internets. It’s happened and more than once. I have travelled many miles and made special trips to find something that I really liked in the past only to have it widely available weeks to months later.

The latest thing: a velvet blazer. You’re saying “But Kary, I’ve seen those around lots lately.” I know. I’ve been looking for 6 months at least. See, M and I watch What Not To Wear sometimes and I decided months ago that I liked Clinton’s velvet blazers that he wears every now and then on the show. I said “I must have one!”

I could find some on eBay but I want to be able to try it on first, look in a mirror and hold it in my hands ’cause if it don’t work out, I want to be able to take it back easily. “Take it back easily” and eBay don’t know each other. I could find some plain black ones on the internets that I was willing to gamble on but I didn’t want plain black.

Then I started see them more and more. In magazines about fall men’s fashion and on the Today show during a segment about fall men’s fashion and celebrities were wearing them etc etc. On the Today show they showed one like I want and even said the manufacturer’s name. I checked out said manufacturer’s website. Nothing. I found other labels that were carrying velvet blazers in their fall lineup and checked their websites and area stores that carried said labels. NOTHING.

Finally, I found a black pinstripe one on a website that also has a store an hour away in Tupelo. I called the store, they had plain black and brown but not the pinstripe. So I ordered it off the website and I’ve been pretty happy with it. But. I still wanted the burgundy/purple-ish color one.

M tried to track one down for my birthday in October. She called the manufacturer that we saw on the Today show and that I saw in a magazine. “Oh we don’t carry that color, there wasn’t enough interest in it.” What?! you showed it on national television and in a magazine. *sigh*

I’d pretty much given up and then M comes home from a trip to Tupelo last week with a surprise for me. Tada, she found one at the mall. It looks nice and I like it.

So last weekend we were in Tupelo and I’m looking around. EVERY STORE HAS VELVET BLAZERS. In about 5 different colors. Every designer seems to have one. WHERE WERE YOU MONTHS AGO?

Such is the frustrating price of living in Mississippi and having forward thinking taste in clothes.