My wife wanted to watch Dancing with the Stars. We took ballroom dance lessons some years ago and like to dance so we thought it might be interesting to watch. It was, mostly.

I’m not going to give my opinion on all the couples and whatnot but here’s the basic premise of the show if you’re not familiar with it. A “celebrity” is paired with a professional ballroom dancer. They learn a dance routine or two in a week and then perform on live television. There are three judges who give their opinions and scores. The public gets to call in and vote, the two scores are combined and each week the lowest scoring couple is given the boot.

Right off the bat, we knew that a female celebrity being paired with a male pro dancer had the advantage. Why? The male is supposed to lead and it is up to him to make the couple look good. Now the lady has to move gracefully and follow his lead but a male celebrity has a lot to learn and accomplish if he wants to have a chance in this competition.

In the end it came down to John O’Hurley and Kelly Somebody-from-some-soap-opera. This girl started out terrible but she kept coming back every week. I’ll admit she was the sexiest celebrity on the show. She beat out Joey Mac from NKOTB for the title of sexiest, but barely.

Anyway, I figured her sex appeal was the only reason she was staying on the show. I have no doubt the judges’ score and the public vote have little to do with the actual results. It’s all about what the producers want to do, I think. They didn’t want to eliminate the show’s sex appeal. But, Kelly got better. She worked really hard and made it into the finals.

John O’Hurley (and his pro partner) kicked ass the entire 6-week competition. Even the judges admitted they were the couple to beat. The last dance of the show was freestyle and the judges praised them and gave them a 27 out of 30 possible points. Then Kelly and her partner did their freestyle dance, which I thought was not as good as John’s. It was sloppier, though I admit some of it was more technically challenging.

27 was the highest score that had been given on the show. 9-9-9. There hadn’t been a single 10 awarded, ever. Until the end.

The crappin’ judges gave Kelly 10-10-10. They ended up winning the whole damn thing.

This is the biggest load of red-ruffed-tail-lemur-from-madagascar droppings I have ever seen. I was so pissed. The judges were paid off and the producers are idiots. I feel like after committing to this 6-week show, I have been betrayed.

You know what? I’m going to boycott ABC. Yep, that’s right, in fact, I’m never going to use the letters a, b and c again. So there.

I hope I w_s the only one th_t w_sted my time w_t_hing this _r_p show. I think everyone should _oy_ott the _hannel _nd the letters. Huzz_h!