For a while I’ve been thinking of getting involved in the local community theater. I found out last week that they were having auditions for their summer musical revue this last Monday and Tuesday. I like to sing, says I, so I borrowed a book of Broadway songs and began looking for a song to sing. Turns out, I don’t know many Broadway songs. I looked through the book and had a piano-playing friend go over some of them with me. After 30 or 45 minutes I’d pretty much given up hope of finding something in the book I could work up from scratch over the weekend for the audition on Monday.
I grew up singing in church choir and whatnot but I’ve never had to do a singing audition or sing a solo (‘cept for that one time in 5th grade but that don’t count). So after a while I was like, Hey why not do a hymn? I know lotsa those. Well, we’re rehearsing in a catholic church you see, so there aren’t any Southern Baptist hymnals laying around. Crap, what now?
We go back to the book and D. (my piano-playing friend) says Hey I know this one, let’s do it. It’s called Memory. I’m like whatever. We work on it for at least 45 minutes and it starts to come together. I’m starting to think I might pull this off after all. About this time I remember what my I-borrowed-the-book-from friend said, Whatever you do, don’t do Memory. It’s so overdone. Well I’ve never heard of this song and I kinda like it but apparently theater people would claw their ears off and shoot me and then themselves if I were to sing this song. Crap, what now?
We find Younger Than Springtime (YtS) from South Pacific. It’s short and simple, two items that are high on my list of Things To Look For In A Song. We work it up a bit and call it a night.
A couple days later (Sunday) we meet again. I try out The Lady Is a Tramp (LiaT); it’s ok. I probably need more sass to really pull it off and I ain’t feeling real sassy. After running through YtS and LiaT a few times, I feel more comfortable with YtS. I whip out my sweet PowerBook, fire up Garageband and make a recording of the piano part so’s I can practice it later that night and on Monday before the audition.
Between Sunday afternoon and Monday night, I practice this song a buncha times. See, I add a new vocal track in Garageband and turn on ‘monitor’. I plug in some earphones and I can hear the piano and myself singing. Pretty danged sweet. I’m sure I’m annoying the ever-loving piss out of the neighbors, given our close promixity and all but I don’t care, this is my moment to shine! or something.
Monday comes and I make it through the day without wetting myself even once while thinking about my audition that night. Yes! M. says she’ll come with me and watch and Do I want her to bring the videocamera? Cripes, woman, are you trying to break me? I mean, I say No thank you dear, I don’t need the added pressure.
We eat and head out; the auditions begin at 7:00pm at the playhouse.
(tune in next time for the exciting conclusion of “I have to sing an audition in front of a bunch of strangers and I’ve never sung solo in public before and I really really really hope I don’t screw up real bad or trip when I get up on stage and maybe I shoulda worn some Depends undergarments in case I lose bladder control”)