Dirty Bum Sex



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I thought maybe I ought to include a bit of the back story here.

M interned in Birmingham over the summer. One weekend my buddy Gabe and I went to go hang out at the her apartment and catch Raiders of the Lost Ark at the Alabama Theatre. Our friend James was meeting us there as well. So Sunday afternoon we’re just chillin’ in the apartment, which is right next to another apartment building. And there’s an alley that runs between the two buildings.

These two young folk, which we’ll call “bums” for the purposes of the story, had been hanging out in the alley since the night before arguing with each other and probably all drugged up. They can plainly be seen and heard from the kitchen window of the apartment. By Sunday afternoon, apparently, they decided to make up.

At first it was just cuddling and stroking each others’ face and greasy hair. Then it turned to making out. Ew. We kept going, looking through the blinds and then turning away, grossed out. BUT WE COULDN’T STOP LOOKING.

Eventually she rolls over onto her back and his hand goes wandering “downstairs.” After a few minutes of this and other gross details involving finger sniffing, he mounts her. Missionary style. In the alley. On the concrete.

It lasted all of 40 seconds. And when it looked like he might be going back down head first, we decided it was time to go to the movie.

Later in the evening when Gabe and I were leaving to go back to Starkville, and the bums sleeping off their post-coital euphoria in the alley, M walks down the sidewalk that runs perpendicular to alley. She reported back that the bums could be seen clearly from the sidewalk by the street. Fabulous.

So, of course, I took pictures during the dirty bum making out and the dirty bum sex. They, along with a chronological picture album of the trip can be seen here.

These events inspired the rap and video Dirty Bum Sex that is above. Enjoy.

12 thoughts on “Dirty Bum Sex

  1. Good stuff. I still feel robbed that WE didn’t get any bum sex. We DID get a smoking section beatdown, though. WITH an ice cream truck. Boo yah.

  2. Americans finally realize the try-before-you-buy works just as well with sex as it does with commodities. Rather than marrying and then shacking up with hot sex coming after the nuptuals, Americans are increasingly putting out before putting on the wedding rings.Women are just as likely as men to get it on before matrimony.
    I think this is just the sign of the times. I mean, we like to test things, try them out, before making a purchase. Why should sex and marriage be any different? The stigma associated with pre-marital sex is dead. Long live free love!

  3. wow, i dont know how i found this…. but it was great. guy is pretty cute too 🙂 very funny. i saw bums make out one time:) no pee pee action though 🙁

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