Tag Archives: video

Dirty Bum Sex

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Download the song mp3

I thought maybe I ought to include a bit of the back story here.

M interned in Birmingham over the summer. One weekend my buddy Gabe and I went to go hang out at the her apartment and catch Raiders of the Lost Ark at the Alabama Theatre. Our friend James was meeting us there as well. So Sunday afternoon we’re just chillin’ in the apartment, which is right next to another apartment building. And there’s an alley that runs between the two buildings.

These two young folk, which we’ll call “bums” for the purposes of the story, had been hanging out in the alley since the night before arguing with each other and probably all drugged up. They can plainly be seen and heard from the kitchen window of the apartment. By Sunday afternoon, apparently, they decided to make up.

At first it was just cuddling and stroking each others’ face and greasy hair. Then it turned to making out. Ew. We kept going, looking through the blinds and then turning away, grossed out. BUT WE COULDN’T STOP LOOKING.

Eventually she rolls over onto her back and his hand goes wandering “downstairs.” After a few minutes of this and other gross details involving finger sniffing, he mounts her. Missionary style. In the alley. On the concrete.

It lasted all of 40 seconds. And when it looked like he might be going back down head first, we decided it was time to go to the movie.

Later in the evening when Gabe and I were leaving to go back to Starkville, and the bums sleeping off their post-coital euphoria in the alley, M walks down the sidewalk that runs perpendicular to alley. She reported back that the bums could be seen clearly from the sidewalk by the street. Fabulous.

So, of course, I took pictures during the dirty bum making out and the dirty bum sex. They, along with a chronological picture album of the trip can be seen here.

These events inspired the rap and video Dirty Bum Sex that is above. Enjoy.

My Homage to Ze

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I wrote about Ze recently. Here’s my attempt at what he does FIVE DAYS A WEEK. I started at 8:00pm with about 25% of the material written or created. I just uploaded it to youtube so you do that math.

I loved Ze to begin with, but the fact that he can crank these out in a few hours every day is amazing.

I’m very proud of my song. It’s the first one I’ve ever written and created.


Back when I was funny

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A year ago on IMKH, I was funny. Listen, laugh and don’t miss the video at the end…

Surely you’ve seen at least one Police Academy movie. If so, then no doubt you remember Cadet Larvell Jones (Michael Winslow). This was the dude that made the really cool sound efx. He could mimic any sound with his mouth/voice/etc. And because of him, I was inspired to develop this skill.

Yes, for the first time ever, I will demonstrate what has taken me years of practice to learn. You may think it’s easy to make the sound of a door creaking open but to do it so that the public can not tell the difference between the real thing and the sound effect is a highly sought after skill that only a few are fortunate enough to master.

I am one of those few. It has taken me since childhood to perfect some of these effects. I hope you will appreciate the supreme skill involved in producing these sounds.

I think you will be amazed. Enjoy.

(Ed. note: You may need to turn your volume way up to hear worth anything. Or way down.)

I’ll start with a simple one. A train.

Wow

Next is a ketchup bottle.

Golly gee

Oh man, you know you hate the squeaky chalk.

Everyone’s favorite: the tugboat foghorn.

Simply stunning

Let’s not forget the magnificent horse.

Amazing

The spine-tingling roar of a concert crowd.

Ground shaking

Here’s a string of supertastic sounds:

Big rig slamming on brakes

A trumpeting elephant

The air slowly let out of a balloon

Ho-ly crap

How about a bear?

Scrumtrulescent

At this point, I know you’re saying There’s no way anybody could make sounds that realistic and amazing. I know, I understand your incredulousness but check it out, I have proof . The last one is a video of me doing some bird calls. 2.7MB, Quicktime format.

Close your eyes and it’s like you’re sitting in the woods surrounded by our singing winged friends, eh? I hope you heard your favorite bird in that medley.

Well there you have it. I’m looking into getting some work doing voice sound efx. I’ve got a call in with Garrison Keillor of Prairie Home Companion. They could totally use my skills over there.