Tag Archives: life

Not much, you?

Busy, sick, busy, balance.

I don’t write about personal stuff on my blog. I’m just not comfortable with putting it all out there for people to read and know my business. I’ll write about my struggles with trying to stay in shape (I’m currently in the fall/winter fattening up stage so that I’ll have something to do in the spring, ha). But I generally don’t write about my personal life. I mean, I started this thing to be a creative outlet and hopefully entertain some folks.

Some people will write cryptic or ambiguous things so that you know something is going on but you don’t know what. Then that leads people to start asking around and maybe rumors get started. So I just avoid it altogether.

Vulnerability. It’s scary. I don’t let down my guard very often. Few people get to see me in that state. I value those people very much and I don’t know what I’d do without them. I may sometimes live my life with my heart on my sleeve but you’d never know it was there.

Anyway, nothing’s changing here, I just needed a topic to post on since it’s been a while. It’s good to see all of you again, dear readers. And when I get to feeling better, I’ll do something funny.

P.S. The Lab Rats intro finally made The Show! Ze gave us an assignment as well.

Guess who I met?

bevhillb208.gifDonna Douglas AKA Elly May Clampett. She spoke at my church Sunday morning. I didn’t know who she was until about half way through her testimony when she started talking about moving to New York and then going to Hollywood. Then I realized why everyone laughed when the associate pastor made a Beverly Hillbillies joke earlier.

It was pretty cool. She had some interesting stories to tell. Now I haven’t made it to the 10:45am worship service in a while. We do our best to go to Sunday School because we like our class but a lot of the time we leave after that. For some reason I wanted to go to the worship service yesterday. Call it coincidence or call it divine inspiration but a lot of the things she said spoke to me.

In particular she talked about God’s perfect timing and having patience. Now, I’ve been struggling with this a bit. See, I went through high school, college and 5 years of working before I discovered a love of acting and performing. It’s what I think about, my hopes and dreams are now geared towards a life in entertainment. And I keep thinking why why why. Why now? Why not when I was in high school or college so I could have studied and gotten more experience and pursued it right out of school in my early twenties instead of my late twenties (thirty, by the time we leave here)?

I told this to Donna after the service and she said it’s better this way. Now I have a foundation and other important experience to build off of. I’ve gotten some of life under my belt, so to speak. She said God’s timing is perfect and to remember Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Good advice. So I’m gonna just keep doing what I’m doing.

She is a sweet lady, taking as much time as each person needed and talking to them and hugging them.

I wonder what bible verses Anthony Rapp will give me when I talk to him tomorrow? 😉

What’s new with you?

Nothin, I don’t know.

See, I just haven’t been inspired lately to write anything new. Why frickin’ not? I wonder. Man, early on this summer, I had multiple ideas coming at me everyday and I could, like, make a selection as to which ones were best to actually write about. Oh those were good times.

Nowadays I find myself coming here and refreshing to see if the blog has been updated. I’m always disappointed.

And I’ve written some funny stuff on here man. I know because I could go back and read it now and I would still laugh. I’ve written this stuff down because I find it funny and I sincerely hope others do to. And people have laughed. They told me so. And it makes me happy.

Maybe I’ve gotten duller and dumber over the summer. ‘Cause before I’d notice stuff and it would get me thinking and I’d come up with a funny angle to it and I’d write about it. Now I don’t seem to be noticing anything. And if I do, I don’t come up with anything funny to say about it.

Just so you know, I ain’t whining. I’m just stating the facts dude. This is where I am.

Man I hope something funny comes along soon or I’ll have to change the bio in my profile. I probably just need to write more in general and stuff will come to me.

Isn’t it weird how things you should be doing or you want to do, you just don’t do? And sometimes many things tie in together. Like I totally kicked ass in the gym this summer, lost 30+ pounds. For the last few weeks I’ve been lazy and eating bad. What’s up with that? And my writing on here has kinda fallen off with my focus on being healthy. See? How are they even related? I don’t know. There’s some deeper issue I guess. There’s some other things I know I should be doing but I don’t do them. It’s easier to just coast than make things better. wtf, I say. w.t.f.

Anyway, now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…

Speaking of my chest, I have about 4 chest hairs. Well I just pulled one out. What the heck man?! I’ve only got four, well, now three. I need all the chest hairs I can get! And I’m sitting here pulling them out?

Well at least my nipple hair has come in nicely.

Be Right Back…

Today’s my Fifth Wedding Anniversary to my lovely wife, M. Five quick and slow years. I believe five is the Wood Anniversary. The rest of the weekend will be taken up with a disc golf tournament I am helping run.

What, you’re married? Yes, sorry ladies (and gay not-that-there’s-anything-wrong-with-that gentlemen). What the crap is disc golf? A game I like to play and another topic for another day. What, you’re leaving all three of us without your insanely great, witty musings from Inside Mr. KaryHead for a whole weekend. Most likely.

The Life List

You know what I’m talking about, right? Everybody’s got one: the List of Things To Do Before I Die. Or, Just Crap That Would Be Cool To Do (version without the morbidity). If you don’t have one, I strongly suggest you sit down or stand up, I don’t care which, and brainstorm things you want to do and write them down.

Here’s a sample of mine:

Skydive Yeah, yeah, lots of people would probably like to do this one and probably do do this one so not really original, but I think it would be fun and terrfying at the same time. I did one of those indoor skydiving things with the tunnel and the big fan. It was kinda lame for the price I paid. I got all of 1.27 minutes to actually get blown around by a giant fan. It was kinda hard though, I couldn’t stay stable for very long without falling off the column of air. There’s a place in Alabama that does the skydiving. Maybe I’ll look into it Real Soon Now.

Naturalist and Tracker Growing up, I loved reading stories about Indians or, if you prefer, Native Americans. I thought that if I could go back and pick a place and time period to live, I’d pick North America before the settlers arrived. Something about the way they lived with and respected the earth and relied on it for all their needs is appealing to me. A few years ago I stumbled on a Tom Brown, Jr. book, Guide to Wild Edible and Medicinal Plants. In it he tells a story of his first deer kill and how he was taught The Old Ways by his friend’s grandfather, a displaced Apache Indian. I thought it was amazing that someone could learn these skills nowadays. At first I thought the book was really old and Tom Brown had to be dead, but no, he’s alive and runs a Tracker School. I’ve wanted to go but haven’t really had the money. I did find a student of his that teaches some classes in my area. I also bought the Kamana Naturalist home study course from Wilderness Awareness School, though I haven’t done very much with it. Anyway, I could go on and on. Just so you know, I have built a debris hut and started a fire with sticks.

Break Dancing Yeah, I saw Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. Everyone thinks breakin’ is cool but not many think it’s something they’d want to spend hours and hours learning how to do. Ever since I saw Office Space and the scene where they’re celebrating in Peter’s living room and Samir busts out a Master Swipe, I’ve wanted to learn how to break dance. I tried to clear out some space in my living room and learn how to do it by rewinding and watching that scene over and over. Alas, I kept crashing into objects. I mean, think how sweet it would be to be on a dance floor somewhere and bust out a windmill or something? Totally awesome. I don’t even want to learn how to do a lot of stuff, just a few moves would suffice. I think I’ll order this.

Ok, one more and then it’s your turn.

Background talent Due to some sort of new legislation in Louisiana, it’s really cheap to make movies there. I live about 5 hours from New Orleans and my parents live about an hour and a half. How cool would it be to go down there and get cast as an extra? It would be swell to see how a movie is made and meet people and raid the craft services table. And totally get paid for it; not a lot but probably enough to cover expenses. I had a buddy go down during the Dukes of Hazzard and get cast as an extra. His truck got cast too, but I don’t think he made extra money for the truck. When the movie comes out I’ll be looking for him. The insider tip is to go out to the clubs with the crew in the evening and chat up the director or somebody and maybe get a speaking role. Hey, it happens.

There’s a small sample from my list. So all three of you who read this, put some of yours in the comments. Now!

Life Lesson #32…

…sometimes it is better to be messy than sit on your balls.

It’s true. I share this hard-won life lesson with you, the reader, because I care about you and I don’t want you to have to learn this one the hard way.

I happen to drink a lot of water. It’s good for you, flushes your system out and it makes you have to pee. Alot. I try to curtial my water consumption in the evening so that I will not have to get up during the night to pee. Alas, despite my best intentions, sometimes you just have to get yourself up out of bed and go pee.

I do not turn on the bathroom light because, one, I know where the major obstacles are and the location of the toilet and two, because if I were to turn on the light my pupils would contract inwards so fast, my eyeballs would turn inside out. It’s really hard to pee when your eyeballs are turned inside out. So with the lights out, I stumble to the toilet and the question is: sit or stand?

Honestly, I usually sit because I’m barely awake and I’m afraid that in my half-lidded state I will pee all over the floor. Normally I sit and evacuate my bladder without incident, but here’s where life lesson #32 comes in. Sometimes in the stumbling, dark dead-of-night it is better to piss a bit on the floor than come up short when you go to put your cheeks on the seat. If you come up short there’s a really good chance that instead of feeling the cool plastic seat, you’ll feel something warm and squishy immediately followed by searing pain. At this point, clutching the family jewels, you fall off the toilet all together and end up in a heap on the floor. In the intense pain, your bladder control efforts are re-routed to pain control efforts and there is probably a lot of pee on the floor now (and probably yourself), not to mention the blinding, tear-inducing pain in your groin area.

As the pain subsides several hours later, you get up and turn on the light to see the damage. But you can’t because now your eyeballs are inside out. After waiting 30 or 45 minutes you are able to discern that you need towels, lots of towel and a hot shower. After you clean everything up, you fall exhausted back into bed only to realize you have to get up in 15 minutes for work.

The lesson here, gentlemen, is to keep a small towel handy for the occasional errant shot that hits the rim or even the floor. I mean, there’s not much worse than sitting on your own nuts and subsequently peeing on yourself.